teachers are dumb

okay, so i know it's been a while. i've been busy what can i say? high school has been so good for me. just being able to break away a little bit from my past life.
so i have decided that teachers are idiots. just because they have a degree doesnt mean anything! seriously, in my world civ class we are talking about religions. well we are talking about what Buddhists believe. they believe in karma. sorrow comes to you because you were too attached. so my teacher looks directly at me and says "so if you have had a loved one pass away it's because you were too attached to them." the man is practically telling me that it's my fault that my father died! idiots. just plain ol' idiots.

high school!!!!!!!!!!

hey peeps. so I'm in high school now! and oh my goodness i cant tell you what a relief it is to get out of Jr. high. the classes are nice, the boys are hot, the food is semi good, and i have a lot more friends than i ever imagined. i always see myself as the loner kid who is in the middle of a huge crowd but she's all alone. that's how i used to see myself. i look around now and i cant go a minute without people hugging me or just saying hi, and boys flirt with me which boosts my self esteem higher. i feel so much better about myself here. I'm getting good grades and that is an improvement over last year. oh and i really like my teachers a lot. well that's all for now. bye!

One more week of school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy crap! i am soooooooo happy. you have no idea. hopefully good grades, no more homework, and just ready to party it up!

So i am writing a book! i have no idea what i am naming it, but the people who have read it so far have said that it's awesome! i'm really happy about that 'cause when i get done with it i'm thinking about sending it in to publisher. what do you think? should i?

so ready for summer. i'm just planning on having the greatest time ever. the family and i are thinking of going to yellowstone( can you believe i've never been???), we are also going to Indiana to visit family. oh, and the topper on the cake...............................................................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................I'M GOING TO CHINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! isn't that just insane?!?!?!?! going to Beijing, can't wait!! i'm soooooooo stoked!!!!

i am going to highschool now! ( wow, i'm using a lot of exlamation points. i'm just so dang happy though!) i can't believe that one honestly. new school, new people, a whole new sense of being lost. ah man, and dances, and boys!!!! hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!! oh geeze, i sound boy crazy, truly, i am not. i hate drama. :( it's just bad for the soul ( you have to say that out loud with your best hippy voice). heehee!

loves you all! and i lover (insert name here) too!!!!!

sore :(

ugh i am so sore!!!! i took weight lifting for P.E and oh my goodness i can hardly walk! a few days ago i literally couldnt walk cause after P.E i was sitting down for so long. so i stand up after class and my legs give out. so my friends comes over and he gives me a piggy-back-ride to lunch. i love my friends:) (especially cute guy friends ;) ) haha, but i seriously hate my P.E teacher. he is such a @#&*! kidding, he's alright i guess. is it sad that when we lift im happy? ya it's true, i hate squats and mountain climbers and UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need a massage, that's all i have to say.

ugh

i hate beimg sick. its the worst and i have had strep for the past six days. i will take your pitty now. but seriously, i am so dang bored!!! my phone broke so there is contact between me and my friends, i bet they think i died. i dont get cable so i have like two channels on my tv, and no computer! i am writting this on my kindle. and i now you are thinking "isnt a kindle just like a computer though?" its not, cant play games no video just typing for sarah. plus im kinda sick of reading for once. oh well. ugh!!!! can someone come save me? dude, kelsie, i miss you sooooooooooooo much babe. we really need to do somethin. i would call you if my fricken phone wasnt broken!!!!!!!!!!!!! love ya:)

you know, life is okay. like seriously i hate my life a lot, but after i talked to my friend Kennedy, i felt like everything was better. i seriously love that chic(sis!) i have prayed for the first time in six months, and i dont know why i stoped. i feel like maybe, just maybe, i can start forging God. i know he hasnt done me wrong, but my heart just needs to accept that. *sigh*, cant believe it, on the 15th it will have been six months. well, happy valentines day, love ya all!!!!

okay technology is absolutely amazing. so for christmas i got a brand kindle. when i got it i thought oh cool i can read books on it and yadda yadda yadda. but i can actually go online with it. in fact this post i am writting from my kindle right now! isnt that awesome? so now i could be at like a burger king and be updating the blog. all right well its really weird to practically texting the blog on my kindle so..... peace out girl scout.

today

i thought that this video was gonna be something sad, but it turned out to be really good. i have made myself a copy of the words to keep with me. the lyrics really spoke to me. i have missed out on so many things that i wanted to say people, now the moments gone and i regret it. i have cried, screamed, and cursed at things and words i lost when the time passed. i was one day too late and didnt get to tell my friends and family how much i love them, how dearly i held them to my heart, and how much i will miss them. even the next second might be too late, so speak up when you want to tell somebody something. i know not many will read this, but please, please, share this with someone you care about. make sure they understand that this moment, this very second, is most precious. we take life for granted, we take the very minutes we breathe for granted. i want to do better, i want to make life a little sweeter, and i want to see the sunshine; like really see it, see the rays and the way it lights up our sky in the many different colors at various times of day; dawn, dusk, and the midnight sky. look around, see the beauty. tell your friends that you care for them very much, tell your family that you need them, with all your heart and soul, tell them that without them you wouldnt be who are and what God wants you to be. hear the song, read the words, and open your heart. for many people my time to tell them these things is gone. it may or may not be the same for some of you, so tell all that you love, tell all in general. dont just tell your friends and family, tell those people that really irk you, the ones that @#!*% you off so bad. tell them................................ tell them im sorry, because a lot of the time they dont understand why they bug you. tell them you're sorry and tell them that they have a friend. we cant go back in time. we cant fix everything, no matter how hard we try. so stop looking back, start looking forward! look for those who need your help, look forward to happy things life. because no matter how well you've convinced yourself that life absolutely sucks, you're wrong. stop sinking, unfurl your wings and fly in that beautiful sky. soar to heaven and feel the sun warm your skin as you smile. there is always, always, time for you to live your life.
okay sorry, but the video didnt post so just go to youtube and look up "one day too late" by skillet. (man, i really like skillet dont i?)

this sucks

(sigh) Christmas is almost here. well, I'm not too thrilled about it. i know everybody thinks that holidays are supposed to all joyful and all, but seriously, i am so dreading it. i mean, are you freaking kidding me?! couldn't we have done this whole shpeall after Christmas dang it?!!! i feel like everything is being so dragged out. i feel like i am being stretched in all different directions. what am i supposed to do? how am i supposed to feel? i dont even how to react to anything anymore. i feel like the only real thing in life is the way i think. my thoughts are the only real thing. everything else is like dream. nothing is real.
well, i really expect everyone reading this to heed my words. everyone, anyone is judgmental during christmas. i dont care who you are, but seriously you are practically reading my diary so ............ anyway, i feel like sometimes people who comment are being kinda judgemental even if you are not trying to be. sorry, maybe im just sensative but its how i feel.

okay, im done now.

the truth

i know i havn't been on here in a while and thank everyone who even looks up this dumb blog. i feel like this blog is a journal that i let everbody read. i just hope that oneday i will be able to write something that changes someones' life. that helps them to think about if they have made a difference. if they will leave behind something besides items, and leave behind instead great memories, feelings of love and admiration, and great deeds of service to their fellow men and women.

to my family who looks up the title "the third sprout" on their internet screen. . . . . . . . i love you. and i give thanks to God for putting me in a family who loves me so much. i could have turned out a very different person in another family, but because of you i am who i am today.

to my adopted family, or friends as the world calls 'em. You have made the biggest impact on my life. when starting junior high i had no friends and was too scared to make any. my friend frome elementry school towed me around and made friends for me. i got braver and tried out for the school play where i met my friend before birth. there was an immediate connection with one kayla gonzales(sorry if i spelt it wrong, you know im bad at names). she saves me everyday of this dreary existance. she gives me a smile, a thought, and will tell flat out if im wrong or being a big butthead. i love you kayla. then there is another whom i met about a year ago. we have a bit of an age distance......she is 18. though she may not act like it. haha, kelsie kendall, my darling sister and friend (and it will always be in that order), you give me hope for a new day. you are the one that knows when something is wrong, even if you are not even near me. i get a text asking "are you okay?" well you know what im not. and that's okay. you are always ready with a joke or just there in general. i dont know what i'ld do without you. love you so much kels.

im just gonna lay my card on the table right now, don't get offended. many of you try to be kind and ask how im doing. thanks but no thanks. im not okay. and i dont know when and if i will be. stop asking!!! the situation?not okay. my life?not okay. everything has shattered so now you know. if im smilling, it's a lie. because im not happy anymore.

Never Surrender

miracles

Every day holds the possibility of a miracle.
Every minute the possibility of life is there.
Every second there is a breath.
Every breath we take, is a miracle.

keep your foot in the door

so. I dont know how im writing right now. but i am, so here goes.

Tonight as you know is the 16th of August. Yesterday, my father died. He fought; he fought till the very end. He was just fine all morning. He was very lucid; and he was talking to us. Well, my mom came in to the waiting room and told us that he was tired. He was sure of his choice. The Holy Ghost had come to him and said that it was okay to come home. All he kept saying was I'm sorry. He made the right decision I know, and he was okay to go home. That's where he is now. He's home, with his parents and friends and our Heavenly Father. I'm glad he's there. And I'm a little jealous.


Keep your foot in the door daddy.

Oh Well

You know, everything has been so crazy around here. I kind of don't feel bad that i haven't blogged. Don't get me wrong, i love to blog, but sometimes you just cant get to it. so, oh well.

I went on a pioneer trek recently and that may have been the coolest experience. My stake went to Martins Cove in Wyoming. (is that spelled wrong?) We were given journals to write in so we could record our thoughts and all that good stuff. Well, i had not written anything the whole trip till the bus ride home. Though i don't believe i will forget anything of this trip. I will admit, I had a hard time leaving home. I didn't know what would happen while Spencer and I were gone. I was afraid. It turned out that my dad did go back into the hospital while we were gone. I felt like I should have been there. I should have been there. But i realized, I was not meant to be home. My friend was having a hard time because a relative had passed away. They came to trek anyway. Well, they decided that they needed to come find me, thinking "sarah can help". At the same moment I was thinking that I ought to be home. I think that our Father was telling me that I was needed here. And i was.

So, for the past like four or five months, I have been telling my friends how much I want to be a knight. I'm sure they are quite sick of it by now. I don't know what it is. It's not the fame or anything like that. i think I'm more drawn to the actual hard work they had to go through; and their rules of chivalry. I don't know why it fascinates me so. It just does. Well, I had a thought the other day that just made me happy. My thought was that I really am a knight. I am a knight that serves the kingdom of God. I serve, fight, and protect my king. I am a knight; as are you.

WoW. it has been two months since i last blogged. Jeez.

Well, all has been well. it is now summer and i am officially bored. When he got home dad was doing amazing. he was walking around, folding laundry, he even helped Nathan pack for scout camp. But he caught a bug and now he is back in the hospital so he can be monitored. They just want to make sure he is breathing okay and all that jazz.

So, there are 31 stakes of the church doing this youth spectacular; myself included. It's kind of hard to explain what we are doing and i don't want to give away the surprise anyway, so i won't tell. You will just have to come see it on the 16th and the 17th of July. I think it will be pretty cool, if we can figure out what we're doing. oh ya, its at the Weber state football stadium. So........... come! come and see!!

Oh my gosh, i almost forgot that my violin group (pizzacotto strings & co.) and I are preforming at the arts festival in Salt Lake City on Saturday. I'm going to laugh if I spelled the name of my group wrong, considering how many years i have been with them! Oh well, we are finally on the stage this year. Maybe it won't be so hot on the stage, i know i'm crossing my fingers for it! I do have a speaking part this year, in fact i'm the first one (yay). Haha, i am soooo tired don't even ask why, because i don't even know!

So, that's pretty much it. um, well goodbye!

whoo hoo!!!!!!!!!

I am so ecstatic! Dad is coming home!!!!!! I am so................ oh, I can't explain it. You know that feeling of utmost joy? Sure, our live is crazy. Sure, everyone is on edge and a little scratchy. But, I am in that giddy little heaven that I don't want to get out of. Aaaaaaaahh! Dad's coming home! Oh, I could say that a million times over.

Okay, so yesterday we went and got a couch ( ya, I know it was sunday and it was bad. But oh well). So, we went and got a couch and it was awesome! Nathan, Spencer, and I all fell asleep on it; at the store! Haha, it was fun. But unfortunately it can't be delivered until May 6th. That's a bumber, because it was awesome. So now our family room has no couch. It is absolutely bare of furniture except for our cabinets. It's kind of funny looking. :)


I'm no motavational speaker but, the other day my friend wrote a poem. It spoke on how when the river has pulled you in and you fight and scream. But, you feel like giving in to the dark murky water that fills your lungs. Then you hear a gentle voice that drys your heart. Fills you with love and care. I don't know how you take it, but I take it as a friend or family member. Also, I read this poem and feel God near me.

Amazing

"It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deed could have done better. The credit belongs to the man actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood: who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." I believe that defines my father. My family. And those who are helping us, no matter how small the deed.

sorry!

I am so sorry! Our internet has been down for awhile. I feel really bad not posting in so long. But luckily it's up again (mom's a genius!) Well here goes the update.

A few weeks ago dad pulled out his ventilator ( he was on it because he got RSV). Don't worry though, he is fantastic! It didn't hurt him which is amazing. He got it back in and is a lot better. After that no big deal.

I had my violin federation on Saturday (that might have been yesterday, but I'm pretty tired). I did really well. I did not expect to do well because i had not practiced and I was really distracted. But I went out there, did my best, and I got what I got. Unfortunately I got a very good. See the rankings go: very good, excellent, then a superior. No, I'm just kidding i really did get a superior. But, i still could not believe that i had gotten it. After federation mom, nathan, and I went to the hospital to visit daddy. I was soooo happy to see him. he looked really good. He was smiling and was so happy. He listened to my violin performance and was just tapping his feet and nodding his head, he was just rockin out! It was so much fun to see him like that.

Well, that's all for now and hopefully our internet doen't go out again!

BOOM! I can see!!

Today was dads first chemo. It's a higher dose than last time so hope he tolerated it okay. Mom hasn't said anything so I think that means it went well. We're all really stressed and distracted with the transplant so close.

I went and got contacts today. It was amazing the difference in sight once I figured out how to get the contacts in (it only took me four hours). :D I went outside and it was like BOOM! I can see!! Everything seemed so crisp and colorful! I guess you get eyesight like mine when you're a bookoholic. When I went to school after that; I was constantly amazed at what these contacts can do. I was yapping on at my friends that I could see the board, I can read the clock, yadda, yadda, yadda. One of my friends, his favorite song is the pinball wizard by The Who, was trying to get my attention. Well I completely didn't hear him; so he said " we know she's blind, deaf....", at that moment I turned around and said "huh?", "....and dumb, but can she play a mean pinball?" I laughed so hard at that because he is the only person that would ever say that.

I love all of my friends who support me and love me. I love you all! Hugs and kisses and ta ta for now!

Last Radiation- yay!

Today was dad's last radiation. Me and mom came to be with him for the last one. He feels REALLY good today. We have been playing catchphrase music edition and we all have been singing and humming really loudly. We don't know most of the lyrics so it's mostly half singing; you know, when when you know only some of the lyrics and the rest is lalalalaing and humming.