i know i havn't been on here in a while and thank everyone who even looks up this dumb blog. i feel like this blog is a journal that i let everbody read. i just hope that oneday i will be able to write something that changes someones' life. that helps them to think about if they have made a difference. if they will leave behind something besides items, and leave behind instead great memories, feelings of love and admiration, and great deeds of service to their fellow men and women.
to my family who looks up the title "the third sprout" on their internet screen. . . . . . . . i love you. and i give thanks to God for putting me in a family who loves me so much. i could have turned out a very different person in another family, but because of you i am who i am today.
to my adopted family, or friends as the world calls 'em. You have made the biggest impact on my life. when starting junior high i had no friends and was too scared to make any. my friend frome elementry school towed me around and made friends for me. i got braver and tried out for the school play where i met my friend before birth. there was an immediate connection with one kayla gonzales(sorry if i spelt it wrong, you know im bad at names). she saves me everyday of this dreary existance. she gives me a smile, a thought, and will tell flat out if im wrong or being a big butthead. i love you kayla. then there is another whom i met about a year ago. we have a bit of an age distance......she is 18. though she may not act like it. haha, kelsie kendall, my darling sister and friend (and it will always be in that order), you give me hope for a new day. you are the one that knows when something is wrong, even if you are not even near me. i get a text asking "are you okay?" well you know what im not. and that's okay. you are always ready with a joke or just there in general. i dont know what i'ld do without you. love you so much kels.
im just gonna lay my card on the table right now, don't get offended. many of you try to be kind and ask how im doing. thanks but no thanks. im not okay. and i dont know when and if i will be. stop asking!!! the situation?not okay. my life?not okay. everything has shattered so now you know. if im smilling, it's a lie. because im not happy anymore.
I appreciate your honesty. You're right, there is no reason you should be okay right now. When people ask if you're okay, it's their way of saying I'm thinking about you. But you know that your family and friends love you and think of you often. I was so glad to hear you have some forever friends. I hope you will feel okay some day. Hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteI know this is just crappy, nothing more, but I hope we all feel okay again someday. I have to believe that we will. I love you Bear and trust that you will get through this and have the assurance Baba is proud of you and will always love you. I just wish what is not were not so!
ReplyDeleteHey Sarah Babe. You are wonderful! You know that everday you choose to be my dear sister and loving friend;I consider it a blessing? Can you believe that has almost been three whole years since we have met?...WOW! You are so Strong Sarah. You are just like...well to be honest with you, to me you are like a knight in shining armor. Bright. Beautiful. Mighty. I love you so much! You are my girl! Well I guess I had better let you be now, so with that being said...Lotsa Love to ya'!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLoves,
Gonzaleka(Kayla Gonzo)
I got on Sar! you made me cry a little(which i am sure you will call me a whimp for lol)and hey i am 18 but i was a preschool teacher i cant be grown up its not fun! be a kid! but i loves you so much sar! You are the little sister i never had! i love you very much and will do just about anything for you! ha chocolate and midol runs count!!! I know i can go to you for pretty much anything! i have cried on your shoulder many a times and hope you feel you can with me. You are amazing Sarah! Best sister i have ever had! love you!
ReplyDeletelove Kels
Oh Bear... my heart hurts for you. And like Jo said... when people ask if you are okay, they just don't know what else to say. They love you and just want to take away the pain. Like me...I love you, and wish there was something I could do or say to make it better... but there just isn't a fix. And that SUCKS!!! Keep your chin up... Baba is so proud of the woman you have become... even if you aren't "okay" right now, or for a while.
ReplyDeleteThis is a bit late, but as far as your wish in the first paragraph? You did it.
ReplyDeletehey gilry!!!!
ReplyDeleteIlove you!!!!!
~Kayla~
Hey Charlie-Lynn!!!
ReplyDeleteor sar, how art thou? Wait nevermind, I'll ask you later. So a did you shave your cat? tee hee that moody little kitty...what is your problem?
~Kayla~